adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
