No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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