Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
