Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
