Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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