I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
