His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
