he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
