you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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