just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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