sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
