VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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