That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
