Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
