Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
