Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
