you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
