a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Quick, to the slutcave!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
