Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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