UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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