I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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