Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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