Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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