I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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