I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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