found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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