Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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