Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
