There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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