ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
