I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
