Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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