That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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