How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
