ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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