Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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