No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
