In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
