hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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