I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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