god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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