yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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