Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
