So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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