This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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