singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
