shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
