I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
