He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
