It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
