you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
